September 16, 2020

Dr. Gwen:       Hi, I'm Dr. Gwen. I'm a clinical psychologist who's been empowering disabled individuals, their families, and their support systems for over 20 years. If you haven't already, please consider subscribing to my channel where I curate tools, share mindsets, and promote habits to helping neurodiverse individuals thrive. Also, hit that notification bell so that you don't miss a thing.

                        In this video, I interview Sheri Samotin, founder of LifeBridge Solutions. Sheri is a certified Professional Daily Money Manager, a California Fiduciary, and National Certified Guardian. She's the author of "Facing the Finish," which is a road map for aging parents and adult children. Sheri lends her expertise to understanding what a Daily Money Manager and Professional Fiduciary do, and how they can be helpful when supporting adults with disabilities. Sheri has spent more than 10 years discovering the tricks of her trade and was generous to share some of them with us. I hope you enjoy this interview with Sheri.

                        Hi, Sheri. Welcome.

Sheri:               Hi, thanks for having me.

Dr. Gwen:       Thank you so much for agreeing to do this. I think this topic of your expertise is so needed. I don't even think people know that people like you exist. So, I love that we're doing this today.

Sheri:               Fabulous, I couldn't agree more.

Dr. Gwen:       Great. Well, why don't we start with you telling us a little bit about yourself?

Sheri:               Sure. So, my background is really in business. I have an MBA, and my first career was in healthcare consulting. My second career was running a surgeon's office, and my third career was the chief operating officer of a consulting firm. So, this is really my fourth career. And I've been doing this for about 11 years and started the business when I was living in Florida and I found a lot of older people really just needed a lot of help. So, that's how I got into it in the first place.

Dr. Gwen:       Yeah, that's awesome and we can get into it. And, you wear different hats in your practice, and so, maybe we can just kind of look under each of those hats. But maybe we can start with what a Daily Money Manager is because that's one hat you wear.

Sheri:               Sure, absolutely. So, I am a Certified Daily Money Manager through the American Association of Daily Money Manager, AADMM as we affectionately call it. And, I'm also on their board, so plugging the AADMM.

                        And, what Daily Money Managers do is generally help people with their personal finances. So, some Daily Money Managers will work with small business owners, that's not my space, but we work with clients of all ages, ranging from millennials to older adults, people with a variety of disabilities in between ranging from developmental, intellectual, substance abuse, and mental health. So, all of those kinds of folks can benefit from Daily Money Management services.

                        Specifically, things like making a budget, sticking to a budget, understanding that what comes in and what goes out have a relationship with each other, helping people plan for the future. So, Daily Money Managers really do a lot of the day-to-day, we're not investment managers, so we're not telling you what to put your money into in the stock market, for example. We can make introductions to those kinds of people, but our role is the day-to-day personal finance.

Dr. Gwen:       Yeah, and, that can come down to, how much money can I spend on groceries? And, should I put a budget aside for groceries or spending money or…? So, I love that. And, just because we're so laser-focused here on this channel of supporting people with disabilities, specifically neurodevelopmental disabilities. Maybe we can get into the different ways in which you work with this particular population, so maybe can you expand a little bit on that.

Sheri:               Yeah, so we have to meet people where they are. And, some people just don't have the capacity or the way their brain works, they're not going to grasp some of the bigger concepts. So, as an example, I might start with what's a need and what's a want. And, start on the most basic level of, "Tell me something you need," "Now, tell me something you want." And if there's not a clear distinction there, to work with them to understand that very basic difference.

                        Sometimes people are good with that, and what the client really needs is help sticking to a budget. So, they understand the need for a budget, they might even be able to make one themselves depending on, again, what their level of ability is. But one of the hardest things is sticking with it. And so, again, depending on the individual's capacity, we can determine what's the best way to do that.

Dr. Gwen:       Yeah, and so, are you able to, let's say, a hypothetical scenario could be that you might meet with a client every week? Or, you might set a budget and then give them a month and help them? Just check in on them every week or--?

Sheri:               Yes, weekly, in general, is not cost-effective for the client. So, what we try to do is upfront, over the course of a couple of meetings which these days are Zoom or phone, we try to come up with a list of their financial issues that we need to work on, and then, prioritize them. And then, come up with a plan for how we're going to do that. So, in most cases for budgets, a monthly review is the way to do it. So, the idea is your budget for groceries is a $100 a month, that's $25 per week. And then, we'll give them alternative ways of tracking that. And then, at the end of the month, we'll have a coaching conversation to say, "Okay, what did you spend? What was your budget? And, why was it higher or lower?"

Dr. Gwen:       Got it, got it. And then, you probably have a bunch of different creative ways for clients to kind of exchange money. Because like some of my clients that I work with, they aren't great with cash, for example. And, I know we're kind of going cashless anyway, especially in the current times. But, how do you do those workarounds? When a client isn't maybe great with understanding the value of money or even being able to count cash, what are some of your maybe strategies?

Sheri:               My favorite tool is something called a True Link card. And, the True Link card is essentially a prepaid Visa card, it looks like a Visa card. But, what's beautiful about it is it can be customized for each and every user. So, if I give somebody a True Link card and they can only handle receiving their allowance weekly because otherwise, they spend it all at the beginning of the month and then run out, I can fund their card monthly with the amount that we've determined is the appropriate amount.

                        The other really cool thing is I can control where it gets used. So, I can make it that it can't be used for any online shopping, or I can make it so it can't be used in a liquor store or for online gambling. It can be very, very specific. So, we can set up the card so that it works with Lyft and Uber. And, it works in the grocery store, and it works in the places that are necessary for that person's life.

                        The other thing that's really important is if they're receiving SSI, we have to be extremely careful what gets paid for out of non-SSI money. And, the True Link card is actually designed for that.

Dr. Gwen:       That's awesome because that is something that my clients face all the way down to how many hours a week can they work at their jobs and making sure that the finances are being covered or being paid correctly to continue to receive their SSI benefits. You were saying that sometimes you use alternative methods to track money. Can you share some of those?

Sheri:               Sure. So, some people, the absolute simplest method is what I call the envelope method. And, that's let's say you have an envelope for your grocery money, and every week or every month however you're doing it, you put the cash money in there, and then you spend it on groceries and you put the receipt in the same envelope. And, that way when the money's done, the money's done, that was what you were supposed to spend on groceries. For individuals who either don't work well with cash, or don't really have the ability to keep track of all of that, again, the True Link cards are really good way to do it because we can download the transactions and categorize them for them and produce a report that basically just says, "Your budget for groceries was this much, here's how much you actually spent. Now, let's talk about it."

Dr. Gwen:       Yeah, and what I'm immediately kind of picking up here on, Sheri, is that by you or your people managing this money, sometimes that might help to take a parent out of that being that middleman so that there's maybe less conflict or less argument. Do you find that that is one of the effects?

Sheri:               Absolutely. Many, many parents don't want to be the bank of mom and dad, they find it gets in the way of their relationship with their child. So, they want to go back to being mom and dad, and they want somebody else to be the boss of the money. And, when I do that, I always have parameters that have some things above a certain amount I don't have discretion so I have to go back to the parent anyway. But, what we try to do is say, "Look, this is the budget we're working with so as long as we're within that budget, let me work with your child, and let me be the bad guy. Let me be the one that says no if it's necessary to say no."

                        On the other hand, if something comes up, let's say an unexpected car repair. That's outside the budget, that's something I'm going to go back to mom and dad and get permission to do. I'm not going to just, I'm not the parent, I'm not going to just do that on my own.

Dr. Gwen:       Yeah, and so, there's a nice system of checks and balances, if you will. Everyone can then trust the system so that I can work with the least amount of friction, I will say as possible. That's awesome. I know when you and I spoke before, we were talking about this idea of the difference between doing some basic training surrounding money and finances, but that not necessarily being the focus of your service. Because I think for some parents and systems with adult children that have a developmental disability, they're looking sometimes for intervention if you will. Like, "I really want my adult child to A, B, and C," and that's really not what your service is really geared for.

Sheri:               We don't have any particular training. So, if a professional educator could communicate what the individual is capable of understanding and provide some guidance to the methodology, we can create the content. But, we don't have the appropriate credentials or experience to work individually with that adult child.

Dr. Gwen:       Got it. And then, Sheri, in regards to managing money, it doesn't sound like there's a time limit on this. You can manage money for as long as the system is agreeable and works with the system.

Sheri:               Exactly. There's no time limit on it.

Dr. Gwen:       Do you ever work together with regional center? I mean, we're both here in California, so we have a regional center here.

Sheri:               So, when I am named as trustee of special needs trust, which I know we're going to get to in a bit, that would be when I would be involved with regional center. Otherwise, when I'm in my wearing my Daily Money Manager hat, that's usually out of my assignment.

Dr. Gwen:       Got it, got it. Well, now that we this kind of a nice segue to your other hat, actually. So, let's peek under that hat as well. I have you that listed as a Licensed Professional Fiduciary, is that right?

Sheri:               Yes, you got it.

Dr. Gwen:       Got it. Okay. And licensed in the state of California, here.

Sheri:               That's correct.

Dr. Gwen:       But, talk to us about this role.

Sheri:               So, as a fiduciary, I have the authority to take on being the trustee or successor trustee of a trust, all kinds of trust, not just special or supplemental needs trust, but all kinds of trust. I can also be named as an agent under a durable power of attorney for finance. I can be named as an agent under an advanced health care directive or health care power of attorney. I can be appointed as an estate administrator in somebody's will. And, I can also serve as a conservator appointed by the court.

                        So, for example, if there was a parent with an adult child with developmental disability, one of the things they're going to have to consider is whether that child needs to be conserved when they turn 18. And then, if so, who's going to step into that conservatory role if and when they can't. And ideally, you want that person to be sort of part of the team along the way, whether it's a relative or a friend or a professional, you want them to know something and kind of know what's been going on with that adult child so that if there's an emergency and they have to step in like right now, they're not coming in completely blind.

Dr. Gwen:       Yeah, I mean, that that just really speaks to kind of a continuity of care. Because I know that the systems that I work with, they can be quite complex, actually. And, that there are a lot of pieces to manage and to think about, and so, having you active from the beginning, or as beginning as possible, really can smooth that out, especially in a crisis. And, I imagine that you probably face that quite a bit because you're dealing with these kind of big decisions and you're dealing with finances that you probably are in the midst of crisis quite a bit.

Sheri:               Particularly, I mean, let's focus on a special needs trust, for example. So, mom or dad, whoever was the second to die passes away. The estate is set up to go into a special or supplemental needs trust for the benefit of that adult child or minor child, but let's assume adult child for the moment. The special need trustee's responsibility is to come up with a plan, a spending plan, which obviously needs to take account of the care plan like what does this person need. It's not just about spending the money or saving the money, it's also about what are the needs but also making the money last as long as possible, but not compromising their public benefits.

                        And so, if somebody wants to appoint me as the successor trustee for a special needs trust, I actually require that they engage our firm to do what we call a life transition plan. And, this is essentially creating an owner's manual for not only the assets and liabilities and so on of the parent, but also the needs as they evolve over time of the adult child, and who the particular resources are, so who's on the team. And, we want to at least know the names, the phone numbers, the contact information of the people who are on that adult child's team. But more importantly than any of that, we're going to talk to the parents about what their hopes and dreams are for that child when they're gone.

                        Because in our role as trustee, we want to try to uphold those values of that family, not just what we think is in the best interest but also taking into account what's important in that particular family.

Dr. Gwen:       Yeah, I mean, that is so important. As I do transition assessments as well, the values of the family are very critical to consider, as well as and I think what you're getting into here is like the quality of life. What kind of quality of life does a family envision for their adult child and how important that is when they're not here? And so, to be so explicit about that while they're here is really a powerful thing to do. Got it, got it. I love that. Go ahead, Sheri.

Sheri:               Yeah, the other thing we do ask is that we will reach out to the families at least annually if we haven't heard from them, and we'll ask, "Hey, what's new? What's changed? Keep us up to date." We also encourage our clients to actually call us if there's something going on, because we may be able to be helpful or provide a referral to an appropriate professional to solve what could turn into a huge problem down the road.

Dr. Gwen:       Yeah, the other piece of this that's really resonating with me is, I think you it talked about kind of this balance of like income and public benefit. How does that get balanced? I find that a lot of my clients and their families, this provides some struggle for them to continually try to figure that out. And so, it's nice that you also take that into account, and I'm sure and counseling.

Sheri:               That's one of the most important jobs of a trustee of a special needs trust is not to mess with the public benefits. So, there's certain things that you can't pay for that only SSI is supposed to pay for, and if you don't, it will reduce the SSI. Now, sometimes if there's plenty of money in the trust, we say, "We don't care if it reduces the SSI, as long as they don't lose their Medicaid or Medi-Cal." But, we will give up a little bit of SSI in exchange for letting them live in a much better place or be able to provide other things that otherwise would impair their SSI. So, sometimes there's a decision that we should do that like it's a good thing to do. But you need to know the rules before you can make a good decision about whether it's smart or not smart to do that.

Dr. Gwen:       Yeah, and that's where you guys as experts really come in because you know what monies can be used on different things or certain things. So, that's really critical. And, I just love that you--I mean, I just hear you going back to family value again, because that decision to be like, "Well, it might reduce SSI but in the grand scheme of things, that's okay with us because of this. That's important to us." And so, going back to values, going back to hopes and dreams, I do that a lot in my transition planning as well, as well as fears. What are your hopes and dreams and fears for the future? And that can also uncover things that need attention, or education, or support. Sheri, you have referred to a supplemental trust or needs trust and a special needs trust. Are those two trusts different?

Sheri:               They are generally the same but they're guided by state law. So, different states, they call them different things and the rules may be different because the state probate code is what guides how those are drafted and how they're administered when the time comes. So, I use them interchangeably just because people from different parts of the country may know them as one or the other.

Dr. Gwen:       Got it, got it. Okay. But they functionally or mechanistically are a bit similar.

Sheri:               Functionally, they are basically the same. Again, there are state-by-state differences and nuances but, yes, the idea is this is to pay for extras for somebody who's receiving public benefits. So, the example would be if the grantor, mom, and dad say, "We really want our kid to be able to go on vacation once a year, and we want the trust to pay for the vacation and for somebody to go with them," like an aide or a friend, depending, again, on the needs. Then the trustee as a trustee has discretion to spend the money on that.

Dr. Gwen:       Got it, got it. That's great, that's great. Okay. Sheri, since you're living in this life of professional finance, what do you see as really important kind of basic financial skills that would be beneficial for adults to have? I don't know if you can break some of those skills down.

Sheri:               Yeah, okay. Number one, the difference between a need and a want. That's so fundamental because if somebody doesn't understand that trying to help them budget is ridiculous. Because if a need or a want are the same thing, it's very difficult to go forward from there. So, the second is then basic budgeting. The concepts of income and expenses, and the basic math of income minus expenses is what you have to save or put aside or if it's a negative number, it's a bad thing. So, even on the most simple level, you want a positive or a zero, not a negative. And then, the final thing, again, depending on the capabilities of the individual would be responsible use of credit. So, those are my three big ones kind of going from easiest or most basic to more complex. It's going to depend on the ability of the individual.

Dr. Gwen:       Yeah, but in general, those general skills are very helpful not only in the work you do but just helpful in general for an adult to live in the world.

Sheri:               Correct, they're life skills.

Dr. Gwen:       Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. That's great.

Sheri:               And, they're not taught in school for the most part, and most families don't teach them either. I can get on a whole soapbox about that, but I think in order to graduate from high school, you should be required to pass a one semester course in personal finance. And, if somebody has developmental disabilities it can be at the level that they can appreciate, but it's a life skill, it's an absolutely critical life skill. And, we're throwing people out into the world who have no idea.

Dr. Gwen:       Yep, and getting into quite a bit of trouble with it, too. This might be a little bit off, well it's not necessarily off-topic, but we're going to diverge a little bit. But something that I also see is my clients having access to spend money through apps or I'm doing that online, and they don't really have a sense of what that is, or not being able to catch that, in order to get a deal on this thing, you need to pay for a big membership to have this deal. And then, they have been blocked from cards or the system hasn't really safeguarded that yet, and so now, they've spent $600 to buy a $19.99. I don't know if you see that, I see that.

Sheri:               What I see is in-app spending for like games or things like that where something will pop up and say, "Oh, buy the next level for $59.99," and they go click. And, those add up really, really quickly. So, again, one of the things we try to do is if they're using a True Link card, we make it that the True Link card either doesn't work with the game or the app, or we put a limit on the card and say, there's $50 on the card, when the $50 is gone, is gone. And, you don't get $50 more until next week. So, and again, it's how much enforcement we have to do depends on the ability of the individual.

Dr. Gwen:       Yeah, and when you use the word "enforcement" it really reinforces for me that sometimes having a third party help to enforce the rules about money, whatever rules have been set up for money in this family, that is very helpful so that we can reduce the conflict between the parent and the child.

Sheri:               And, that works extremely well if the child is into rules as many of them are. So that, they like to put things in boxes, and that can actually work very well with financial things because conceptually, that the idea of you have compartments or you have boxes and the rule is this can't go from this box to that box. A lot of times that's just how they think anyhow, so it works.

Dr. Gwen:       Yeah, I was going to say that works. And then, if you can routinize or schedule that to happen on a regular routine basis and now that's just the new rule, that adjustment I can see, could be very beneficial and could catch on, it could become more independent as time goes on.

Sheri:               Yes.

Dr. Gwen:       So, that's fantastic. I love this True Link card. I'm going to start really referring people over to you just to even talk about the True Link card because this is something that is a practical-- it's like a practical solution. And again, it's back down to my clients that have a very difficult time with cash. And, I'm just like we need to stop working on identifying cash, or the values and adding it, let's just set it up in a different way so that they can just know that when they go to whatever Trader Joe's this is the limit. And, I use my card and there you have it. Okay. Awesome. So, Sheri, I know that people can find you obviously they're through the web and I'll put your information in the description below. But, how do people usually pay for your service and that might change depending on what hat you're wearing, but in general, how do people pay for your service?

Sheri:               So, it's 100% private pay. The only exception is-- it's still private pay but with a conservatorship, we only get paid after the court approves our fees. So, when we're a trustee, we bill every month and we get paid for the time it actually spends to administer the trust. Same for Daily Money Management. For conservatorship, we bill everything hourly, but the court ultimately just decides whether our fees are reasonable.

Dr. Gwen:       Got it, got it. Okay. Got it. So, private pay service, got it. All right. So, Sheri, I tend to-- Well, I really like ending my interviews this way. And so, maybe we can get into this, and I just love hearing what everyone has to say. But, if you could only choose one skill that you're going to empower an individual with, what would it be and why?

Sheri:               It would be common sense, and the why is that I can teach many other things but I cannot teach common sense.

Dr. Gwen:       Common sense is not so common.

Sheri:               Exactly. And, if somebody has good common sense or has common sense and or good judgment or judgment at all, then it's easy to work with them to achieve the other micro-goals that you might have. But, if they don't have common sense, it's really, really difficult to achieve much.

Dr. Gwen:       Yeah, and I can imagine that when you then do have to have enforcement then there's more friction.

Sheri:               Exactly. Then it becomes much more like a policeman, it becomes a lot more rigid and a lot more boundaries have to be created, and it's not ideal. So, if somebody has common sense, I can work with it.

Dr. Gwen:       Nice, nice. Okay. That's so great. Well, that's awesome. And then, Sheri, you do have a book that's out.

Sheri:               I do.

Dr. Gwen:       You want to tell us a little bit about that?

Sheri:               Sure, I'd be happy to. It's called "Facing the Finish: A Roadmap for Aging Parents and Adult Children." There's a workbook as well that's available, that helps families kind of walk through a lot of the issues of aging parents and the thought process around how do you plan for all of that. And, it's available, they're both available on Amazon.

Dr. Gwen:       That's awesome. And, I will also get those links and I'll put them in the description of this video as well so people can find that very quickly.

Sheri:               Fabulous.

Dr. Gwen:       So, what is the best way to get a hold of you?

Sheri:               Best way really is by phone or email. My phone is 323 452 2680, and the email is long but if you put the link, then it'll be good, [email protected]. But that's a lot, that's a mouthful.

Dr. Gwen:       Yeah, I will definitely put that down. Thank you so much, Sheri, for sharing your expertise and for being in the space.

Sheri:               Absolutely. Thank you for having me, it was fun.

Dr. Gwen:       Awesome, thanks.

                        Hey, thanks for watching. If you're interested in finding out more about or contacting Sheri, her information is in the description below. I've also provided a link to my website where I provide additional insights and impressions of this interview. If you got any value from this interview, please hit that Like button and subscribe to this channel. Doing so helps to get this information to others just like you. If there's a topic or program that you want to know more about, share it in the comments below. Thanks for watching, and see you in the next video.